REFLECTIONS ON THE RECENTLY STAGED CRYSTAL GALA

With less than a month to prepare for Ballet Manila’s 15th anniversary celebration, in between the familiarly difficult technique classes of Tatiana Udalenkova who is here for six weeks for our annual intensive training and the choreography rehearsals of Russia’s People’s Artist Sergey Vikulov, Augustus Damian III and Ballet Manila’s resident choreographer Gerardo Francisco plus the various corporate shows, Ballet & Ballads concerts and Pistang Pinoy weekend performances in Star Theater, okay, okay I’ll stop now.

To say that the last few weeks have been busy is an understatement – but not very different from any other period right before a season opening – it’s just that it’s our 15th season we are opening and we have added on the pressure of topping our overtly successful Today’s Stars of the Russian Ballet Gala last July 10.

I owe these jaw-dropping statistics to our President of the Ballet Manila Foundation – who happens to be my Dad – ’s meticulous records and close to obsessive-compulsive personality…
• 4,008 Ballet Manila performances that include 38 in Russia, 23 in South Korea and 31 in the United States of America.
• 3,879 Philippine performances in a total of 48 cities and towns in Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao.
• 537 full-length ballet performances with 74 Nutcrackers, 55 Don Quixotes, 34 Tatlong Kuwento Ni Lola Basyangs and 49 Pinocchios!
• 2007 Circus D’Ballet performances with a tough-to-beat record of 543 performances of the pioneer production Belen.
• 112 ballets in our repertoire

15 years of delivering classical, neo-classical, contemporary and Filipino ballets in both traditional and non-traditional venues. 15 years of consistently working towards the vision of having a ballet institution that was created by dancers for dancers with the well-being of the dancing professionals in heart and mind. 15 years of family, friendship and a singular passion to dance…

We began with a makeshift studio floor and mirrors on wheels in our home porch – we now have three spacious rehearsal studios occupied from noon till nine pm. We began without a home theatre – we now have two. We began with three scholars, we now have 127 students in the Ballet Manila School. We began with 12 dancers united in a leap of faith – we now have 52 strong dedicated to dancing every performance even better than the last one.

The mission continues – the vision a lot closer – the legacy remains. Our direction is as crystal clear as the GALA we are celebrating: Preserve the classics, create new works, develop several generations of audience and dancers and always, always tell a good story – preferably on pointe – without having to say a single word.

HALO-HALO NI JUAN BM CRYSTAL GALA
DIRECTOR’S NOTES

Sometimes, I feel old. Like when I would be encircled by the dancers during green room right before a show and remember all the past faces that stood before me once, all eyes and ears, expectantly waiting for words of encouragement and assurances that everything was going to be perfect onstage. Thankfully, it is often a sweet yet fleeting memory that is soon replaced by excitement over the performance to come. This is when I appreciate the confidence that maturity brings – I feel ready for anything. I am also humbled and filled with gratitude, thankful to still be able to be an active part of the performance and so lucky to still be able to dance.

There are also times when I also feel melancholy, when a part of me wants to bring back the old guard and the old members that I knew were not dancing anymore or have moved on to other careers and lives outside of Ballet Manila. But most of all, at the end of this mixed rainbow of emotions, I feel victorious. I remember how our detractors used to give Ballet Manila a maximum lifespan of two years – and here we are going strong at 15.

The easiest way to make an assessment of how the company has flourished since 1995 is to tick off the numbers. As of the 14th season, Ballet Manila has had:
• 4,008 performances that include 38 in Russia, 23 in South Korea and 31 in the USA;
• 3,879 Philippine performances in a total of 48 cities and towns in Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao.
• 537 full-length ballet performances — including 74 Nutcrackers, 55 Don Quixotes, 34 Tatlong Kuwento Ni Lola Basyangs and 49 Pinocchios!
• 2,007 Circus D’Ballet performances with a tough-to-beat record of 543 performances of the pioneer production Belen.
• 112 ballets in our company repertoire, ready for performance anytime, anywhere

Fifteen years of delivering classical, neo-classical, contemporary and Filipino ballets in both traditional and non-traditional venues. Fifteen years of consistently working towards the vision of having a ballet institution that was created by dancers for dancers with the wellbeing of the dancing professionals in heart and mind. Fifteen years of family, friendship and a singular passion to dance. This is how I can best sum up the last decade and a half for Ballet Manila.

We began with a makeshift studio floor and mirrors on wheels in our home porch; we now have three spacious rehearsal studios bustling with activity from noon till 9 pm, six days a week. We began without a home theatre – we now have two. We began with three scholars; we now have 127 students in the Ballet Manila School. We began with 12 dancers united in a leap of faith – we now are 52-strong, dedicated to dancing every performance even better than the last one.

Ballet Manila is proud to have adhered to its commitment to a “dancers first” policy – giving the dancers the most ideal working situation as possible. We have worked hard to provide all the tools that would nurture a good performance, from the best floors and stage, adequate studio and rehearsal time, new pointe shoes, costumes – everything that can help our ballerinas and danseurs achieve the best standard of dancing as possible. And in a vision we shared with our first artistic director, the late Eric V. Cruz, we continue to run a company that would enable young Filipino dancers to stay in our country and support themselves with what they earn as professional artists, and to nurture each and every dancer individually for the collective good of the company. The fact that all our ballerinas and danseurs work full-time and choose to stay longer with Ballet Manila is a good sign that we are on the right track.

I am happy that Ballet Manila has been able to enrich the lives of these young dancers, not just financially, but with wonderful experiences and performances that showcase their artistry as well. As a dancer, first and foremost, I look back and remember the good times more than the bad. I remember the successful performances and the great friendships and experiences brought about by an active dance career. I am happy that Ballet Manila has been able to provide and deliver on our promises to all the artists – past and present — who have entrusted us with their lives and dreams.

The mission continues… the vision a lot closer… and the legacy remains. Our direction is as crystal clear as the Gala we are celebrating : To preserve the classics, create new works, develop several generations of audience and dancers and always, always tell a good story – preferably on pointe – without having to say a single word.

RUSSIAN BALLET IN THE PHILIPPINE DANCE MILIEU
By Pablo A. Tariman

When the curtain rises July 10 for the performances of the Stars of Russian Ballet at Aliw Theater, another dance cycle will have been completed involving both Filipino and Russian dancers on one hand and Filipino dance audiences, on the other.
There is a lot to look forward in this coming production produced in collaboration with Kantor Pos. For one, the coming dance event also headlines top dancers from the most prestigious ballet companies of Moscow, St Petersburg, Amsterdam and Manila.
But if there is one who can represent the country’s Russian connection, it would be no other than Lisa Macuja Elizalde who is the first foreign soloist of the Kirov Ballet and who is the epitome of Russian training. Notably the Vaganova method.
“It is simply hard to beat more than 250 years of tradition in classical ballet handed down from one generation of Russian artists to the next,” Lisa pointed out. “This gala will not only be first-class ballet treat, but I believe it will reveal to Manila audiences how global our own standards of dancing are in the local arts scene. It is a wonderful opportunity to see these artists perform here in Manila and not have to go abroad to enjoy international star-studded dance concerts like this one.”
At the helm of this big dance production is the Society for Cultural Enrichment Inc. (SCEI) headed by Consul Helen Ong. “Ballet Manila is very proud to have the SCEI as our partner in this very important event especially as it is their first fundraising activity,” announced Macuja-Elizalde who is also Ballet Manila’s artistic director. “We share a common vision for the improvement of cultural literacy and the enhancement of arts appreciation, especially among our youth.”
Some 87 years ago in 1915, according to dance chronicler Reynaldo G. Alejandro, the first performance in the Philippines of Paul Nijinsky (not related to Vaslav Nijinsky) of the Imperial Russian Ballet was held for the benefit of the Belgian Red Cross. The venue was the old Manila Hotel Roof Garden and the repertoire included Greek, Egyptian, ancient and new classical dances. According to Alejandro, costumes were done by Leon Bakst and most of the dances were performed barefooted.
This revelation is of course a gem from the past for the history-conscious balletomane. Bakst is a name directly linked with Sergei Diaghilev who launched Vaslav Nijinsky’s career which created an unmatched sensation at the turn of the century, the same period that fanatic dance historians would like to refer to as the “golden age of dance.”
As if this revelation were not enough, dance chronicler Alejandro (who used to dance and choreograph) also wrote that one of the greatest ballerinas of all time, Anna Pavlova, also danced at the original Manila Grand Opera House in 1922, some two years before she announced her retirement. (This is a discovery I couldn’t believe until Mr. Alejandro asserted he had in fact a slide of the souvenir program of Pavlova’s Manila engagement.)
Dame Margot Fonteyn in her book, “The Magic of Dance, “described Pavlova as a “unique phenomenon, without explanation, like the evening star or the Chinese flower that blooms only once in a hundred years.”
If early and current accounts are to be believed, local dancers were at one time or another inspired by Russian dancers.
The late National Artist for Dance Leonor Orosa Goquingco admitted to me she fell in love with dance at the age of 12 when she saw a Russian dancer named Olga Dontsoff perform in Bacolod. Mrs. Goquingco, whose accomplishment as a choreographer is a near legend in this country, did not even foresee that many years after her first glimpse of a Russian ballerina, she herself would be the object of generous praises from Russian artists.
After her Filipinescas’ stint in Russia, even Russian ballerinas cheered her. Ludmilla Filina, prima ballerina of the Leningrad State Ballet, lauded the dance company’s “high artistic quality.”
Another outstanding Filipino figure in dance also in awe of Russian artists was Maniya Barredo, who had a triumphant reign as prima ballerina of Atlanta Ballet in the United States. Maniya who was part of that Stars of World Ballet organized by Dame Margot Fonteyn once intimated to me she couldn’t help watching from the wings each time Maya Plisetskaya was about to enter the stage and dance. From the wings, and watching Plisetskaya unfold her magic, Maniya said she didn’t hope to catch up with Plisetskaya’s art. “Plisetskaya is all magic. She is very human in her approach to ballet. I will never do the Dying Swan after I saw her do it.”
The dance intercourse between Russian and Filipino artists and balletomanes is indeed astounding considering the fact that this country has no tradition to speak of insofar as ballet is concerned.
While the Philippines is indeed not a part of the early sanctuaries of ballet, it is a source of cultural pride that Manila has seen a part of the Russian Imperial Ballet, that it had seen the legend that was Anna Pavlova and had witnessed for the first time the early 80s the great Maya Plisetskaya.
When the Russian dancers finally share the stage July 10 with Macuja-Elizalde’s Ballet Manila, one can derive divine inspiration from the fact that Anna Pavlova was once here 60 years ago although in another theatre.
For once, Manila will once again witness the best of ballet from the new generation of dancers that include Jurgita Dronina, principal dancer of the Swedish Royal Ballet and Dutch National Ballet paired with David Galstyan, soloist of the Ballet du Capitole Toulouse, for the Le Corsaire pas de deux and Don Quixote pas de deux; Yana Selina and Maxim Zyusin, soloists of the Marinsky Ballet in the Blue Bird pas de deux from Sleeping Beauty and the Giselle pas de deux; Viktoriya Ananyan and Alexander Zhembrovskyy, soloists of the Dutch National Ballet, featured in two contemporary choreographies; Marina Mishina and Dmitry Zagrebin, soloists of the Bolshoi Ballet in the Flames of Paris pas de deux and the La Fille Mal Gardee pas de deux; and Yelizaveta Cheprasova and Filipp Stepin, soloists of the Marinsky Ballet, for the Corsaire pas de’Esclave and Balanchine’sTarantella.
Macuja-Elizalde, together with Ballet Manila, will also perform several numbers from their repertoire: Tony Fabella’s Dancing to Czerny, and Bam Damian’s contemporary pieces Rebel and Reconfigured.
When that July 10 dance event unfolds, it will confirm the observation that Manila is also a city where you see the world’s greatest artists perform.
(For a rare evening of ballet at its finest, get your tickets to Today’s Stars of the Russian Ballet with Ballet Manila from Ticketworld at 891-9999 or www.ticketworld.com.ph, or through Ballet Manila at 400-0292, 525-5967 or e-mail info@balletmanila.ph. Proceeds from this one night performance will benefit SCEI’s programs for the improvement of culture and arts teaching in the Philippines.)

For example, the appeal of Calvin and Hobbes. My nine-year old son Manuel loves Calvin and Hobbes. He doesn’t read them from the everyday comic book strips in the newspaper like his mother used to do. He reads them from the book compilations he can borrow from his school library. And boy, it is not a problem getting him to read at all. At the breakfast table, in the car or sitting back in bed before going to sleep – Calvin and Hobbes makes him linger and laugh out loud.

This morning he shared with me one of those rare colored comic strips that showed Calvin’s mom preparing a salad for dinner. She first took an evil looking octopus out of the refrigerator. Then she squished it into a salad bowl with a mallet. Added weed-killer and other tasty looking chemicals. When Calvin gave her his signature grimace as she served him dinner, she exclaimed, “I spent an hour preparing this, you can at least try it.” I chuckled and said to my son, “You do know that all that preparation was in Calvin’s imagination, right? (In defense of all the moms that take a lot of time and energy preparing dinner for the family). To which, my brilliant boy retorted, “It is Bill Watterson’s imagination Mama!” I stand corrected!

It is pretty obvious that Manuel has an entirely different way of thinking. He once started singing “Staying Alive” and would turn his head every time he said “Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha…staying alive, staying alive!” as if he was looking at different points in the room. He told me that he was a blade of grass and every turn of his head he would see a grass-eating animal such as a cow, horse and goat! Hilarious!
I must confess that I can’t relate to all of my son’s reading material. For instance, I grew up reading Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew. He can’t relate to these teen human detectives. It’s Astrosaurs, C.I.A. Cows In Action, The Bad Bears, Pokemon, Captain Underpants and the Warriors series. I guess today’s generation can relate more to characters that are not human…What makes me smile is whenever I see my boy reading. He goes through some 20 books a week – which makes me a regular parent forever checking out books at the library.

My family is a family of readers! I hope that reading is a big part of your family life too.

It was around 12 years ago when the first Ballet & Ballads was conceptualized and brought to the stages of Metro Manila, and eventually, many other major cities and towns across Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao. I know this for a fact because it was my then “brand new” husband who first came up with the idea.

When Fred and I got married in 1997, he immediately constructed a ballet studio in our home. He also watched all of my performances. It was after one of these performances when he said to me: “Why not partner with MBC and bring music concerts and the ballet all over the Philippines?” Why not, indeed? (Personally, I also thought that he was looking for ways to travel with me while keeping track of all of his nationwide radio stations at the same time!)

And so, Ballet & Ballads was born and went on the road. We brought together wonderful singers such as Janno Gibbs, Jaya, Toni Gonzaga, Lani Misalucha, Rea Valle, Ariel Rivera, Von Arroyo, Jeremiah, Karylle, Kyla and Nyoy Vollante, and the classical, neo-classical and contemporary pieces from Ballet Manila’s extensive repertoire. We performed in school campuses and stages all over Metro Manila, and toured key cities like Dagupan, Cotabato, Iloilo, Cebu, Bacolod, Naga, Legazpi, Davao, Cagayan De Oro and Baguio. It was as the Chairman envisioned it to be – a way of merging the popular and the classical into a unique brand of entertainment. It also sparked a real partnership between Ballet Manila and Manila Broadcasting Company.

However, regular performances of Ballet & Ballads had to temporarily take a backseat when the Circus D’Ballet series in Star and Aliw Theaters went onstage, although these special concerts were never completely discontinued over the years. It was as a finale number in Ballet & Ballads that I first learned how to do the popular dance move “otso-otso” – not that I was ever good at it! Up until last year, we have had 30-minute Ballet & Ballads shows every Saturday night in Star Theater with Luke Mijares and Faith Cuneta, as well as in Aliw Theater with Freestyle.

Fast forward to today’s performance — having a Ballet & Ballads series of concerts in Aliw Theater with THE Basil Valdez is truly a dream come true! Over two decades ago, I had performed with Basil Valdez, Celeste Legaspi and Douglas Nierras in a concert called Tuliro, Ngayon at Kailanman at the PICC Plenary Hall. I had just come home from Russia and was still CCP Artist in Residence. It was a concert that marked my baby steps into dancing to Original Pilipino Music or OPM.

Once again, my stage life has come full-circle as I dance again to Basil’s golden voice in this weekend’s ballet and music concerts.

What is in store for the audience today is one hit song and one hit ballet, one after the other. If Basil’s “Ngayon at Kailanman” and “You” have topped the music charts, then Ballet Manila’s NCCA National Choreography Competition first prize winning piece, “Reconfigured”, and the CCP Pasinaya Festival favourite, “Dancing To Czerny”, would be their dance counterparts. The acrobatic and extremely difficult choreographic miniature, “Rebel”, on the other hand, would be easily matched to the vocal calisthenics needed for “Corner of the Sky”.

Ballet & Ballads is not just a ballet performance… and it’s not just a concert – it’s BOTH!

Ballet & Ballads goes onstage at the Aliw Theater on February 19 at 7:30 p.m., February 20 at 1:00 and 5:00 p.m., and February 21 at 1:00 p.m.

“Every performance I do now after 25 years of dancing is icing on the cake—a miracle that takes place on a daily basis.”

By LISA MACUJA-ELIZALDE

1) Perseverance counts! You do not become a ballerina after a three-day workshop or a summer of dance classes. It takes years, usually six to ten years of daily training in order to be qualified to become a professional dancer.

2) No pain, no gain! If you are not ready to sweat with the effort and endure physical, mental and yes, emotional pain, in order to achieve your dreams, you will never achieve them. No achievement just falls on your lap (unless you win the lottery). You have to be ready for some hard, back-breaking work.

3) Talent matters, but it’s not enough. Teachers count! Ballet is a handed down art form from one generation to the next. Even if you are born with the most beautiful and malleable body for ballet, you need a good teacher and mentor to train you to dance well. Ballet skills, just like the “three R’s” (reading, writing and ‘rithmetic) are skills you learn in school.

4) Family support is essential! Had I not had the full support of my family – most especially my parents Cesar and Susan Macuja – I would never have achieved my dream. Every dreamer needs a cheering squad and your family is the best cheering squad around.

5) Health is wealth! You have to take care of your body. You only have one and each part is irreplaceable. My body is my instrument – I have to fine-tune it daily with proper nutrition, enough sleep and no other illegal, or abusive substance such as nicotine or alcohol – or else, I won’t be able to dance.

6) Good preparation is the key to a successful plan. Several hours before a ballet performance, you will find me onstage, warming up, giving enough time for mental and physical preparation for the show. Most often, the success of any endeavor is in the planning and preparation.

7) You have to be ready for anything and think on your toes! No matter how meticulously planned a choreography is, during a live performance, anything can happen. My dancing has trained me to make split-second decisions in front of an audience as the unexpected can definitely sometimes happen.

8) Better to fall than to dance badly. Vaganova would tell this to her students. It’s so much better to fall (since falling is usually an accident) than to not fall at all but dance badly. In other words, a mediocre job with no mistakes is worse than a high-quality performance with one or two falters.

9) Falling down is part of dancing, part of living! I can’t remember how many times I have fallen down onstage in front of hundreds of people. But, you just have to learn how to fall gracefully, then, pick yourself up, and rally through the rest of the show!

10) If you build it, they will come… I know. This is from the “Field of Dreams” movie. But having been given the Star and Aliw Theaters to dance in on a regular basis, and having danced on a make-shift stage made out of softdrink cases nailed together – if you build it (a stage), they (the audience) will come…

11) Coordination is so important! Dancing is teamwork and coordination. You cannot dance without coordination of every part of your body – just as you cannot accomplish much if your team doesn’t have coordinated efforts.

12) A true partnership is built on trust. I’ve danced with countless of premier danseurs in the last 25 years and I needed to trust all of them explicitly. Juliet needs a Romeo; Odette / Odile a Prince Seigfried; Carmen cannot be Carmen without a Don Jose – that’s just the way the ballet works!

13) Take risks! Whether it’s as simple as an overhead lift with an unreliable partner or a role that everyone said you should never dance – it’s important to take risks in order to determine what you can and cannot do. Otherwise, the question will remain unanswered all your life!

14) Pray and have faith! In the wings just before I enter onstage, I say a prayer and I know that God is there. He is watching, guiding, helping all the time. I am never alone.

15) If the long-term goal seems too far away, break it down into smaller goals! Yes, Life’s journey is like a ballet choreography – it’s always made of individual steps – that should be taken one at a time.

16) Learn to listen – to the music, to your body, to your teachers, to your partners and yes, to your critics. When you learn how to listen, you learn how to improve. Feedback from someone watching you can only be constructive because you can never really see yourself from a distance.

17) Timing is crucial! You just have to dance to the music and keep to the beat! When your movement is misaligned with the music, it’s not dancing anymore – because in dance, the movement and the music have precise positions together.

18) Smile! Laugh! Have a sense of humor. Dancing has to look effortless. Most often, I smile in order to mask the effort. But it’s important to be able to smile – onstage or off – because yes, it’s a proper disguise to the effort and can be very convincing to you and everyone else.

19) You need to learn when, and how, to stop. One word I often hear during rehearsals is “Stop”. And you have to stop moving in order to analyze and correct what you are doing wrong.

20) Accept the fact that nothing and nobody is perfect. As a ballerina, I have always strived for perfection of every movement I do onstage. But, not a single performance of my last 25 years of professional dancing has been perfect. Perfection is a goal that can never be achieved – but we have to try. No, practice does not make perfect.

21) Practice by repetition. It really helps! You remember how you had to memorize that 8 times 8 is 64? Well, repeating a movement again and again makes your muscles memorize how it’s supposed to be done. So, if you still can’t do it, what do you do? Repeat.

22) Discipline matters. No matter how long the standing ovation was the night before, a ballerina’s day begins with ballet class – exercises that you do your whole life. Maintaining your form means working daily on the basics. No room for complacency. You stop, you lose it.

23) Keep your cool. Loss of control of your emotions can make you make drastic mistakes onstage or off. No matter what happens, keep yourself level-headed and avoid making rash emotional decisions.

24) You cannot teach everything. As a ballet teacher and a mother, there are simply things that your child or student has to learn on their own.

25) Be grateful! Every day is a blessing. Every performance I do now after 25 years of dancing is icing on the cake – a miracle that takes place on a daily basis. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am forever grateful.

Are you sure this is your last Don Quixote? Your very last Kitri? My heart skips a beat each time I am asked this question – ever since I explained this choice of mine to my artistic team when planning the 14th season earlier this year. How does one dance your classical ballet career’s signature role – with all her prerequisite jumping and turning – and then just stop dancing it after the weekend’s run? Putting a period on my full-length Kitri was a personal decision. I knew in my heart that Kitri would be the first of the classical roles to go – because of the technical demands of the role and the deterioration of my aging body. I never wanted the audience to suffer through such a happy clap-trapper of a ballet. I don’t want the audience, who has seen my Kitri of ten years ago, to compare her to my present day Kitri. And so, I bid her farewell.

Contrary to what most people think, my favourite part of dancing the full-length Don Quixote is not the pas de deux of Act 3 that I first performed as my Russian Ballet Academy’s graduation piece in the summer of 1984 with Bakhitjan Smagulov. It is Act 1 – and not just any part of Act 1 but specifically, Kitri’s first entrance. How I dance her in the first few minutes of the ballet determines how I dance her for the rest of the three acts. Why? Because this first entrance shows Kitri in her full glory already – light and high jumps, fiery temperament, red fan flaming, those fast chaine turns and lame ducks and that Kitri smile nothing less than ear to ear cheeky grinning. In 1986, when I first performed this famous entrance partnered by Kirov Ballet’s then rising star Faroukh Ruzimatov, I ripped a muscle in my left thigh, just above the knee. If you look closely at the video tape of that performance, you will even see the exact moment it happened. The rest of the ballet was danced on pure adrenalin and pain denial – until I limped home to Nievsky Prospekt and collapsed into bed.

I still dance Kitri today with the same castanets I performed my first one in. They were given to me by my ballet coach People’s Artist of Russia Gabriella Komleyeva. If those castanets could talk, they would regale you of stories like when I hit my foot on a light stand just before entering for my variation in the Riga Theater in Latvia while dancing with Aivars Leimanis. Or when I was stopped from entering by the stage manager as I started to clap them together in Tblisi, Georgia because my Basilio at that time, Bolshoi Ballet’s Irek Mukhamedov, decided to do an encore of his first act variation. One of the castanets has a chipped edge which probably happened during the festival in Krasnoyarsk when I was dancing with my long-time dance partner Osias Barroso. It was his first Basilio then.

Dancing my last full-length Kitri? I knew that this day would inevitably come. And if the one-weekend run in October turns out NOT to be my last full-length Kitri – then I defer to yet another twist of fate. In the meantime, I will keep my castanets in my dressing-room’s right side drawer. Because you never know how many more stories they might want to tell.

A personal plea to all dance choreographers and dance innovators – let’s bring the happiness back into dance!

As a member of the audience in the last week’s opening gala of the Wi-Fi Contemporary Dance Festival held in the CCP Tanghalang Aurelio Tolentino last June 25, I was bombarded by angst. There was a lot of tension during the entire show – and it was not just muscular tension by the dancing onstage. It was the kind of tension that both the audience and the dancers collectively shared because of the reality that was depicted onstage. This was not an escape. This was not entertainment that made you forget your problems at the theater lobby. This was the world you live in – just amplified ten times more because it was onstage.

Okay, I get it. Some people like it when dancers scream at you to wake up and take action. Some people who have experienced unrequited love are masochistic enough to want to watch their dreams being snuffed out like a candle cupped in a dancer’s hands. Some people prefer to see dancers contorting in agony and rolling on the floor – instead of flitting about effortlessly, pulled-up and defying gravity with ethereal grace and charm.

Whatever has happened to the Dance Galas that celebrated life, love, music and movement? Where has all the happiness gone? Where is the pomp and pageantry of a ballet performance that transports you to a world of fairy tales and happily-ever-afters? Where is the audience that comes out of the theater with a lightness of being because for two hours, they exchanged the price of a ticket to be able to escape from the harsh reality of a financial crisis and the stress of coping with a world full of selfishness and hate.

During the entire 4th Wi-Fi Contemporary Dance Opening Gala, I did not see one single smile from any of the dancers onstage – with the exception of the general curtain call at the end. Can’t we bring the smiles back and make the audience smile with us? Can’t we bring the happiness back into Dance?

all throughout my two years in the Russian Ballet Academy (at that time my school on Zodchevo Rossi street went by the long name of The Leningrad Choreographic Institute named after Agrippina Y. Vaganova), I dreamed of dancing Kitri one fine day. I watched my first full-length four act Don Quixote ballet at the Marinsky (formerly Kirov) Theater. It was in 1982 and I could hardly speak a word of Russian. The older and more experienced foreign students organized our whole dormitory to try and make it inside the Kirov Theater that night. And we did! The ballerina dancing Kitri was Olga Chenchikova. I instantly fell in love with the role of Kitri – that fiery Spanish girl full of mischief and spark. All those jumps and turns – a technical showcase of almost acrobatic prowess – and all that flirting with the handsome, dynamic Basilio. My thoughts that night as I went to sleep in the room I shared with four other girls were – I want to learn how to do that…I want to learn how to dance Kitri.

Fast forward to two years later and I am graduating from The Leningrad Choreographic Institute. I am dancing, as my graduation piece, the pas de deux from the final act of Don Quixote. My first Basilio was Bakhitjan Smagulov, my top graduate classmate from Alma-Ata in the, then, Russian Republic of Kazhakstan. I peg the 32 fouettes and cause the conductor, Viktor Fedotov, to play Kitri’s variation with a faster tempo making the musicians in the pit look up and stare at me during the curtain calls while they beat their bows against their upraised instruments in acknowledgement. I am happy not really because I had danced my dream pas de deux but because I was able to make my teacher, Tatiana Udalenkova, a proud fairy godmother. She had transformed me from an ugly duckling into a swan.

Fast forward to January of 1986 and I am about to dance my first full-length ballet of Don Quixote with Kirov’s rising male danseur Faroukh Ruzimatov. I had one shot at this dream in the same Marinsky Theater I had first set eyes on this ballet in 1982. A ruptured thigh muscle made it painful – but I was on this adrenalin rush like no other that it took me 24 hours before I could land back on the ground. I was on such a high that day, the two hours of dancing and the 20 minute curtain call a blur. My parents and brother were in the front row. My teacher Tatiana burst into tears in the dressing room. My theater coach Gabriella Komleyeva gifted me with the same Kitri earrings she wore when she danced the role of Kitri. And all my Kitri’s since then have been performed with the same castanets I used during that premiere. That very first Kitri has been a highlight of my career. I had fulfilled a dream and no one could ever take that away from me.

Today, I am planning to dance my final full-length role of Kitri as part of the 14th season of Ballet Manila and the 25th anniversary celebration of my classical ballet career. I suppose being able to dance Kitri – with all those prerequisite high jumps and speedy turns – during a silver anniversary is a feat in itself. Knowing that it is my last shot at my dream role, a signature role that I have been fortunate enough to dance many, many times after that winter morning in Saint Petersburg will make these final three performances on October 9, 10 and 11 in Aliw Theater a weekend like no other.

I have read almost all of Cecelia Ahern’s novels. They make me laugh, cry and feel so many more emotions in between. My current Ahern novel is “Thanks for the Memories” and there is a hilarious scene at the end of chapter 24 where a father and daughter are watching Swan Lake at the Royal Opera House in London’s Covent Garden. (NB: This ballerina has watched Swan Lake in the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden and it was a surreal experience because I was watching the Marinsky Ballet in London. I think I’ve seen Swan lake at the Marinsky – and danced in a few of them too – around 40 times before this London experience).

Anyway, back to the Ahern novel, I believe the thought behind the story was summed up during this scene. As father and daughter watched the story of Swan Lake unfold, the father decides right then to give his daughter some wisdom gained from his 75 years of existence. He says, and I quote, “In my day, something just was. None of this analysis a hundred times over. None of these college courses with people graduating with degrees in Whys and Hows and Becauses. Sometimes, love, you just need to forget these words and enroll in a little lesson called “Thank You”. Look at this story here,” he points at the stage. “Do you hear anybody here giving out about the fact she, a woman, has been turned into a swan? Have you heard anything more ludicrous in your life?”

He has a point, don’t you think? I’ve danced the dual role of Odette – the white swan, and Odile – the black swan oh I don’t know, probably more than 30 times in my career so far and reading about Swan Lake in layman’s terms makes it sound a bit ludicrous… I was laughing my head off while lying flat on my bed as I read this chapter end.

The Dad then follows through with, “All kinds of what-have-yous in here tonight, but all of them want to see the fella in tights end up with that swan girl, so she’ll be able to get out of that lake. Only with the love of one who has never loved before can the spell be broken. Why? Who the hell cares why? Do you think your woman with the feathers is going to ask why? No. She’s going to say thank you because then she can move on and wear nice dresses and go for walks, instead of having to peck at soggy bread in a stinky lake every day for the rest of her life.”

I love this Dad. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to keep a straight face again while dancing Swan Lake after reading this novel.